Golf // Gambling // NE Theater of Operations
Target: Oct 3, 2026 · Rob Dion Signs His Life Away
Gentlemen. You've been selected. Not because you were the best option — Rob's words, not ours — but because you were available and he has faith you'll "perform your duties to the fullest." Touching, really.
The mission: August 6-9, Tobyhanna, PA — deep in the Poconos outside Scranton. House is booked. Rob is arriving Thursday to set everything up. You show up Thursday or Friday, whichever your schedule and your wife allow. A second house is on standby depending on headcount.
"I have faith that you will perform your duties to the fullest." — Rob Dion, Immediately Regretting This Email
⚠ THREAT ASSESSMENT: Rob will attempt to call it a night at 10pm. Threat level: ELEVATED. Countermeasures: required.
Two weekends on the board. Select which one you can make — or both if you're committed to the bit. Rob needs the headcount to finalize houses.
This is the full package. Five golf courses on one property — three championship 18-hole tracks designed by Tom Fazio, Robert Trent Jones Jr., and Rick Smith. Atunyote hosted a PGA Tour event. Tiger Woods has walked those fairways. Two of the courses landed on Golf Digest's 100 Greatest Public Courses in America. The casino is 125,000 square feet of Vegas-style action. The hotels are all on property. You golf in the morning, lose money at night, and never once move your car. This is the cheat code.
If the crew skews PA/NJ/NYC and wants to keep the drive under two hours, Mount Airy is the play. PA's first AAA Four Diamond Casino Resort has an 18-hole lakefront championship course right on property — designed after Sports Illustrated's "Best 18 Holes in America," slope rating 141, par 71. Casino, sportsbook, poker room, Guy Fieri's restaurant (yes, really), and a full pool complex — all on site. One night, two missions, zero excuses.